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What mistakes keep you from calming down and only make the state worse

Author: Oleh Betekhtin

Editor, Medical Psychologist: Nataliia Betekhtina 

What you may be doing with good intentions that actually makes it harder to calm yourself down

Sometimes, our best intentions can lead us down the wrong path. Actions we think are helpful may actually drain our energy and intensify our feelings of chaos. For example, overthinking situations can create a heightened sense of anxiety. Engaging in habits like excessive reassurance-seeking from others can also keep us stuck in a cycle of uncertainty and stress. It's essential to recognize how habitual reactions, even those that seem harmless, contribute to our discomfort. Taking a moment to reflect can bring clarity to our roles in maintaining this tension. Additionally, there is a practical solution in Telegram that can help you take a small step towards calming your mind, and it only takes about 4 minutes to get started.


What actions you need to stop first if you truly want to calm yourself down

To create a pathway for relief, it’s crucial to identify and stop certain harmful actions. These may include engaging in negative self-talk or fixating on worst-case scenarios. Recognizing the actions that most strongly perpetuate the stress spiral is the first step to change. By acknowledging these behaviors, you can create space for more beneficial practices. The act of stopping these behaviors can, in itself, provide a sense of relief and contribute to a more peaceful state of mind.


What common attempt to help yourself actually makes your state worse

Many people resort to strategies that feel like self-help but end up compounding the issue. For instance, turning to excessive distraction as a way to cope may provide short-lived comfort but often leads to feelings of guilt or regret later on. Similarly, indulging in unhealthy habits, such as overeating or excessive screen time, gives brief relief but can ultimately make you feel worse overall. It's important to be aware of these subtle traps where pseudo-help replaces real support.


How to notice when you are winding yourself up and stopping yourself from calming down

Awareness is key in breaking the cycle of anxiety. Recognizing signs that certain habits trigger a familiar loop of stress can help you understand your part in it without feeling guilty. For instance, notice if you begin to feel overwhelmed after scrolling through social media or if certain conversations raise your anxiety level. This moment of recognition is not about self-blame; it’s about empowerment and understanding that you can influence your feelings from your current state.


How to stop making these mistakes without crushing yourself with self-criticism

Moving away from harmful actions doesn’t have to involve drastic measures or harsh self-criticism. A gradual approach can yield more sustainable results. Aim for careful replacements of negative behaviors with more positive ones, such as choosing to take a walk instead of remaining glued to negative thoughts. These changes don't require total control over yourself, allowing for a gentler transition. Embrace this process as a way to foster resilience and calm without battling against yourself. You can start with a small step by exploring a practical solution in Telegram that takes about 4 minutes to implement, providing a gentle way to initiate positive change.


Frequently Asked Questions

 

What should I avoid doing to calm down?

Avoid engaging in negative self-talk and overthinking situations, as these can heighten anxiety.


How can I recognize if I'm making things worse?

Look for signs like increased stress levels after certain actions, such as excessive reassurance-seeking or distractions.


What are some misleading strategies for self-help?

Common misleading strategies include excessive distraction or unhealthy habits that provide temporary relief but worsen your state in the long run.


How can I step back from harmful habits?

Focus on slowly replacing harmful actions with healthier alternatives, allowing for a more gradual change.

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